FAUX LIFE

today

2005-07-20T06:03:55Z

I fell asleep and drooled on myself in class.

I love math.

hottie

2005-07-16T01:39:53Z

Last night I got 6 stitches on my chin.
Why? 'Cause stitches are hot. (duh).
Blood& Pain.

cutecutecute.

so

2005-07-13T03:00:50Z

I can't wait to see the Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory remake.

the end.

baby

2005-06-27T09:07:15Z

So I guess after not having posted in ages
this is the only thing I find post-worthy.

Within the past few weeks I adopted a year old Jack Russell Terrier and named her Mila.
She's basically the best dog ever next to Benji and Rin Tin Tin.
So yes, here she is- my princess.

so

2005-05-18T05:58:58Z

If I had a slave I'd name him Quentin.
Together we would eat lots of food and
take over the world.

that's all for now.

melwilltell @ 2005-04-10T22:48:00

2005-04-11T03:50:05Z

people can be annoying

but they sure do taste great with a tangy orange sauce.

melwilltell @ 2005-03-22T20:07:00

2005-03-23T02:08:15Z

I don't really know about updating this deal anymore.
Since my last-I turned 18. Had an awesome spring break
& wished I never had to go back to my ordinary lifestyle.

boo to that.
yay to friends.
yay to a lot of other things.

blahblah

melwilltell @ 2005-02-19T00:11:00

2005-02-19T06:15:16Z

So basically: food is amazing.
Also, I love sleeping.

If the rest of my life consisted
of just eating and sleeping:
I must admit that a good portion of me
would be content.

One thing I don't love is waking up
at 7 in the morning. But I'll do it tomorrow
just for the hell of it.
And by 'for the hell of it' I mean because
I pretty much have to.

coolioolioolioo

happy sunburn day

2005-02-14T22:07:28Z

So last year, on this very same date
there was snow outside and I was
wearing 7 layers of clothing.
Today I’m wearing a dress and
I’m thinking about hitting up
the springs.
Honestly, what the fuck Texas?
what.the.fuck.

oh myspace

2005-01-02T06:24:48Z

This is a poll:

what is it?

no I didn't

2004-12-30T04:26:13Z

ABOUT YOU
Your full name:: Melanie Fritzsche
Age:: 17
Height:: 5'4
Natural hair colour:: dark brown
Eye colour:: brown
Number of siblings:: 1
Glasses/contacts?:: glasses
Piercings:: clit gauge attached to a flashlight
Tattoos:: maybe someday
Braces?:: not no mo'
FAVOURITE
Colour:: black
Band:: Queen
Song:: One year of love
Stuffed animal:: pipo
Video game:: Cool Boarders
TV show:: growing up gotti
Movie:: all of Tim Burton's
Book:: one hundred years of solitude
Food:: ALL CARBS or sushi
Game on a cell phone:: snake
CD cover:: ushers
Flower:: peonies
Scent:: flower by kenzo
Animal:: Devon
Comic book:: eh
Cereal:: kellogs frosted flakes
Website:: MAH SPACE
Cartoon:: Family guy
DO YOU
Play an instrument?:: used to play the flute. HOLLA
Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?:: nah
Like to sing?:: totally
Have a cell phone?:: i just might.
Like to play sports?:: not really
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?:: mmm
Have a crush on someone?:: oooh sneaky little survey
Live somewhere NOT in the united states?:: Argentina
Have more than 5 TVs in your house?:: 5 is just right
Have any special talents/skills?:: oh yes. mhmm
Excercise daily?:: i try
Like school?:: HA
CAN YOU
Sing the alphabet backwards?:: is that a joke?
Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?::
do you know any other languages?:: spanish and some portuguese
Go a day without food?:: never
Stay up for more than 24 hours?:: when I was 12
Read music, not just tabs?:: sort of
Roll your tongue?:: nah, brah
Eat a whole pizza?:: definitely
HAVE YOU EVER
Snuck out of the house?:: mmm not quite
Cried to get out of trouble?:: probably
Gotten lost in your city?:: oh yes
Seen a shooting star?:: yep
Been to any other countries besides the united states?:: Argentina, Brazil, Switzerland, Austria, Germany, France...I can't even remember.
Had a serious surgery?:: when I was 9 months old I had a hernia. aww
Stolen something important to someone else?:: virginities here and there.
Solved a rubiks cube?:: three every morning before I chug raw eggs.
Gone out in public in your pajamas?:: of course
Cried over a girl?:: bitches
Cried over a boy?:: bastards
Kissed a random stranger?:: oh lord
Hugged a random stranger?:: every chance I get
Been in a fist fight?:: i wish
Been arrested?:: yes
Done drugs?:: oops
Had alcohol?:: too much
Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?:: not yet
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?:: what kind of a person do you think I am? of course I have.
Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/etc?:: fuck no
Swore at your parents?:: unfortunately
Been to warped tour?:: can't say I have
Kicked a guy where it hurts?:: the heart?
Been in love?:: maybe
Been close to love?:: every day
Been to a casino?:: yesss!
Ran over an animal and killed it?:: noooo
Broken a bone?:: never!
Gotten stitches?:: tons! I'm Frankenstein
Had a waterballoon fight in winter?:: what the hell?
Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour?:: probably not
Made homemade muffins?:: of course. my secret middle name is martha.
Bitten someone?:: yes, yes I have.
Been to disneyland/disneyworld?:: yep yep yep
More than 5 times?:: nope nope nope
Been to niagra falls?:: no!
Burped in someones face?:: yes!
Gotten the chicken pox?:: when I was smaller than my computer
WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU
Brushed your teeth:: an hour ago probably
Went to the bathroom:: mmm around the same time I brushed my teeth
Saw a movie in theaters:: monday
Read a book:: I'm reading Bukowski's Pulp
Had a snow day:: last year, Valentines day
Had a party:: I don't remember. LAME
Had a slumber party:: hell, I wish I was 11 again.
Made fun of someone:: probably less than 10 minutes ago
Tripped in front of someone:: the last time I drank
Went to the grocery store:: a week ago
Got sick:: a month ago or so
Cursed:: when I realized how long this fucking survey was. i.e. now
PICK ONE
Fruit/vegetables:: vegetables
Black/white:: black
Lights on/lights off:: off
TV/movie:: movie
Car/truck:: car
Body spray/lotion:: body spray
Cash/check:: cash bitches
Pillows/blankets:: blankets
Headache/stomach ache:: stomach
Paint/charcoal:: charcoal
Chinese food/mexican food:: chaneez
Summer/winter:: winter
Snow/rain:: snow
Fog/misty:: misty
Rock/rap:: rap, jigga
Meat/vegetarian:: white meat
Boy/girl:: boiz
Chocolate/vanilla:: chocolate
Sprinkles/icing:: icing
Cake/pie:: cake
French toast/french fries:: fries
Strawberries/blueberries:: strawberries
Ocean/swimming pool:: ocean
Hugs/kisses:: butt pinches
Cookies/muffins:: both, dipped in butter.
p33n/bewbz:: uh
Wallet/pocket:: wallet
Window/door:: door
Emo/goth:: G0TH D00D oh wait, I mean 3m0.
Pink/purple:: red
Cat/dog:: dawgs
Long sleeve/short sleeve:: long
Pants/shorts:: pants
Winter break/spring break:: both
Spring/autumn:: autumn
Clouds/clear sky:: clear
Moon/mars:: moon
FRIENDSHIP
How many friends do you have?:: enough
What are their names?:: let me waste my time and tell you!
Do you have a best friend?:: yess
Have you ever liked one of your friends?:: I like them all
Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?:: probably guys. I don't know.
Have you ever lost a friend?:: not death-wise
Have you ever gone to an amusement park with a friend?:: indeed
Whats an inside joke between you and a friend?:: i do
Have you ever gotten in a big arguement with a friend?:: i have
Whats the nicest thing youve ever done for a friend?:: eaten their dinner
Whats the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you?:: eaten my dinner
Do you miss any of your old friends?:: awww no.
What friend have you known the longest?:: Indira
Do you regret anything youve done to a friend?:: yes
If so, what is it?:: something shitty.
How often do you spend time with your friends?:: oooh, I'd say about 4.3 hours daily
Do any of your friends drive?:: they do
Has a friend of yours ever died?:: no
Whats the dumbest thing youve done with a friend?:: ooh, there are a few
What do you think your friends think of you?:: that I have huge tits.
LOVE AND ALL THAT CRAP
Have you ever been in love?:: wasn't this asked earlier?
If you have, with who?:: you
Are you single?:: mmm
Are you in a relationship?:: oh hell no
If so, for how long?:: a second
Do you believe there is someone for everyone?:: sure
What is your idea of the best date?:: sex, drugs & rock. maybe some ice cream too.
What was your first kiss like?:: I can't believe who it was. ew
How old were you when you got your first kiss?:: 14
Do you think love is a load of shit?:: I wouldn't go that far
Whats the best experiance youve ever had with the opposite sex?:: arm-pit penetration. try it!
If you are single, have you had any boyfriends/girlfriends before?:: not reaaally
Have you ever been dumped?:: well, no
Have you ever dumped someone?:: I suppose not
Whats the most sexual thing youve done with the opposite sex?:: ate dinner.
WORD ASSOCIATION
Slippers:: flippers
Hat:: cat
Hard:: body
Free:: willy
Space:: tron
Taste:: paste
Good charlotte:: barf
Red:: head
Deep:: cave
Heart:: liberal
Cord:: birth
Cheese:: sandwich
Rain:: sleep
Work:: hard
Pedal:: metal
Head:: ache
Bed:: mormon
Fluff:: puff
Hardcore:: slut
Race:: win
Knife:: dustin
Jump:: black
I....
am:: tired
want:: chocolate
need:: not chocolate
crave:: chocolate
love:: my new pants
hate:: creeps
did:: your mom last night
feel:: cold
miss:: secret
am annoyed by:: someone
would rather:: not have done this
am tired of:: this
will always:: love you
SILLY STUFF
What is your favourite genre of music?:: tejano rock
What time is it now?:: 10:06
What day is it?:: wed 29
Whens the last time you called someone?:: 8? 9?
How much money do you have right now?:: zip
Are you hungry?:: yes
Whatcha doin?:: this
Do you like parades?:: not really
Do you like the moon?:: sure
What are you going to do when youre done with this?:: wishing I hadn't and finding chocolate
Isnt cup a funny word when you repeat it over and over?:: no
If you could have any magical power what would it be?:: be ALEX MACK
Have you ever had a picnic?:: yes
Did you ever have one of those skip-its when you were young?:: no, I had no childhood.
What about sock em boppers?:: no
Are you wearing any socks right now?:: yes, as a matter of fact.
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
funny?:: probably not
pretty?:: scrooge
sarcastic?:: only when it counts
lazy?:: yes
hyper?:: after gang bangs
friendly?:: only to strangers
evil?:: like resident
smart?:: of course not
strong?:: after I take my pills
talented?:: I can sing like ashlee simpson.
dorky?:: who, me?!
ASSOCIATE THESE WORDS WITH SOMEONE YOU KNOW (or dont know)
high:: jordan (jk) :)
skip:: me
dance:: clare or gates
lonely:: some cowboy
pen:: ok the rest of these name association things suck so I won't answer them
flower::
window::
psycho::
brain freeze::
orange::
sassy::
jelly::
FOR OR AGAINST
suicide:: nah
love:: for
drunk drivers:: no good
airplanes:: sure
war:: no
canada:: wtf
united states:: sometimes
rock music:: sure
gay marriage:: gay, sraight, black, white
school:: at times
surveys:: not this one
parents:: YEAH!
cars:: some day
killing:: no, not really
britney spears:: toxic!
coffee:: black
pants:: all the time
WOULD YOU EVER
Sky dive?:: sure
Play strip poker?:: mmm I'm closer to no
Run away?:: probably not
Curse at a teacher?:: mmm no
Not take a shower for a week?:: if I lived un Phucket
Ask someone out?:: maybe
Lie to someone to make them think better of you?:: mmm i hope not.
Visit a foreign country for more than a month?:: of course
Go scuba diving?:: sure
Write a book?:: on sex
Become a rockstar?:: for the free drugs
Have casual sex?:: only on trains
LAST QUESTIONS
What shampoo do you use?:: bed head
Whens the last time you did something sexual with the opposite sex?:: shut up
What kind of computer do you have?:: emachine holla
What grade are you in?:: scenyour
Do you like to throw popcorn at people in the movies?:: not my idea of fun
Or just make out?:: i paid for a movie, dumb ass.
How many posters do you have in your room?:: about 5
How many cds do you have?:: too many
What time is it now?:: 10:14

mmm fever

2004-12-03T03:39:58Z

These past few days,
my entire family gets a huge thumbs up.
My mom is basically amazing.
I love her more than anything.
but I'll be honest.
one thing I don't love,
is being sick.
I never realized
how much I hate missing school.
Except not seeing Mrs.Andrews.
I don't think I'd be too sad if
I were suddenly informed of her death.

ew. I feel like dying.
I hope I can still make it to
Veronica's birthday, though.
Feliz Cumpleaños chiquita!
It's also Camie's birthday on Saturday.
damn.
I promise I won't get anyone sick.

yentl

2004-10-13T21:01:47Z

My body aches and I look like a ghost.

I almost passed out & threw up 345 times today.
I hope everyone thinks that's really attractive.
I mean, blood is cool, right?

papa can you hear meeeeeeeee?

melwilltell @ 2004-09-24T16:38:00

2004-09-24T21:42:18Z

Hey Melanie,
Remember when we danced to Queen in your living room and then made sweet love in your bed?
I've had better.

But I love youseriously.
Especially when your titties got washed off by waves.

LOVEYOUSummer

this is what she does

2004-07-09T20:35:19Z

I write on you; write in you with sharp quills that dig deep into organs unspecified and leave forceful rhetoric penetrated in faded browns. I don’t understand why the ocean reminds me of your hands or why the burning on my back feels so cogent when it rains.
Teresa used to say that when shedding is necessary and extravagant colors become a thing of the past, they’ll understand that not all cats are females and that a spud is an unattractive term for a baked potato. In 1992, the pure anatomic structure of felines and canines provided prepubescent minds with room to conjugate inaccurate hypotheses relating to fauna. I wish I’d been lucid in those years, or enough to conjugate you blind.

Sometimes it’s a bit disconcerting when I dissect myself in front of you. Tangled flesh, vertebrae, and pulsating obscurities intact while you merely trace the lining with your phalanges. Remember when we met, and there were frames covered in melted elephant tusks and golden rhinoceros hooves? You said you’d never seen a more resplendent display of animosity. There were times when your hair would seize the light in the shadows and save the seconds for later. I always wondered how you knew just how to mold king sized permanent markers into poets, but I guess it doesn’t matter, as long as those eyes still lay prisoners in mine and sands of fractured cartilage and wounded knees enter us.

bamboozle

2004-06-20T18:02:41Z

I finally got my act together and downloaded my europics.

http://img16.photobucket.com/albums/v48/melwilltell/

HELP

2004-02-15T19:23:54Z

if someone found or took a pink, hello kitty wallet.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give me my ID back.

keep the money, I don't really care, but if you know where it is I'd very much appreciate it.
I'm not even mad, I just really need it.
Just leave it somewhere that i'll find it.

please help me. thanks.

if this isn't the best website ever, then I don't know what is.

2004-02-14T22:41:46Z

http://www.mulletjunky.com/

weekends are fun

2004-01-26T00:04:27Z

YOU SHOULD TRY IT!

2004-01-24T05:42:48Z

http://www.nationallampoon.com/nl/08_features/diet/diet1.asp

"That’s right, as long as it’s iceberg lettuce and coffee, there are absolutely no restrictions. None at all! Take that, Jenny Craig!"

"Those blinding pains are your body telling you that the plan is working!"

EMPLOY MEEE!

2004-01-19T23:15:33Z

Hey! I need to work.
Does anyone know of any job openings?!
Donlad Trump? Anyone, anyone?

I'm more than ready!

Pleeeeeasee help!

thanks!

ps- American Idol is tonight!
Don't act like you aren't excited.

lalalalalaaaa

2004-01-07T07:59:31Z

im going to bust a flow for melanie
her it goes...
uh oooohhh
her name is melanie
and its not a felony
to be her friend
i know i will be til the very end
she knows what’s hip
and she knows how to flip
and she will bust your lip
if you are not nice (that didn’t rhyme)
bff forever we will be
its not necessary
to be jealous of thee
because we
are always happy
chillen at the party
under the tree
like woah
what do you know
melanie ain’t no hoe
and thats fo sho
we is going to go chill
and i always know she will fill
my heart with many a dolla bill
but these ain’t a real dolla bill
they is dolla billz of love
like a pretty dove
and together fo-eva we will be
even if when we
are old and ugly
so now i am going to see
the one and only
MELANIE

--judson vail
aka j-money-vail(my gangster name)
yeeuh

Dear Texas,

2004-01-07T05:19:52Z

Sometimes I love you, really, but WTF. Seriously, sometimes you’re really great. You’re warm and sweet. I feel your breeze as if it were my shadow, but sometimes you lessen your temperature by 40 degrees in less than an hour and decide to give me frost-bite. Now is that really fair? Your fluctuant and versatile weather? Is that what our 8 year relationship is worth to you? The least you could do is break it to me slowly, really.
Right now as I lay dazed and jaded, I can only hope that one day we’ll go back to being as close as we once were. I can dream of the nights when you’d get windy and I’d know…I’d just KNOW that you’d be cold the next day. But until then, I hope you’re happy. I hope whoever she is…makes you happier than I ever did.
I still love you, so whenever you’re ready, we can talk.

Love,

Mel

Olde English turbo 800

2003-12-22T17:23:12Z

Last night I met David Spade and got free Wendy's from the mafia.

We have the best party house and you're not invited.
Strobe lights and LA BUCHE!
Couches a plenty.

gifts tonightttt!

Pablo Neruda melts my heart

2003-12-11T03:48:47Z

yeah.